Yesterday I learned that we are made of our maternal Grandmothers. When our mothers are six months gestated in the womb, they receive all the eggs they will ever have. Our beginning of this physical life takes place there and then. Perhaps that is why I feel close to my mother’s mother.
This got me thinking about when my daughter, Mila, grew in my womb. She is half-made of her father. Her father’s essence grew inside of me. I birthed what became of that essence and care for that being. It is so intimate. Maybe this is why it is harder for women to let go when parents separate.
Loving Mila’s father is something innate for me. When she was in my womb, when she was born and after, loving him and wanting to be close to him is natural. No matter what my inner and outer world looks like, the love is there. The love is not made of mind and not even just heart. He is an extension of her. Loving him is something innate, physical, biological.
Is this why women often stay in relationships that may not be good for them? Society thinks it is fear, driven by social and economic pressures. But, perhaps the driving force is not fear, but, this very raw, physical connection women feel with the men that father their children.
“You grew inside of me,” I told Mila’s father today. “She is made of you. Perhaps that is why it is hard to let go.”