I don't often tell people details of the story of when I first found out I was pregnant. But, here I am writing this blog and practicing transparency... ;) I was meditating; my body relaxed and seated in a classic meditation posture. With my eyes closed, I saw open, clear blue sky, a sky that appeared limitless. Then, unexpectedly, my gaze took me beyond the blue sky to a vast black sky. In the black sky, I noticed a line of what I can most accurately describe as stars. The stars didn't appear as still as they do in my normal waking state. They seemed more alive, animated, like excited little sparkly spirits.
There was one of these stars that I started to feel a particular affiliation with. My gaze rested on the star for a moment and in that moment there seemed to be some kind of communication and agreement, that the star wanted to be with me and that I accept. It just happened. No planning, no clue, just two sparks in the universe having a moment of noticing each other.
I opened my eyes and even though this was the furthest thing from my mind, I had the feeling that I am pregnant. I left the meditation room, grabbed car keys, drove to the nearest pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test. I could not wait till I got home so I stopped at the nearest bathroom I could find. The result; positive.
When I see Mila with her Dad, her Grandparents, her cousins, it is clear to me that she feels a strong heart connection with close family. With humility, I feel confident to say that she chose us. And, her Father and I - though it may have been subconscious - chose and agreed on some level to be hers. A sacred contract exists between us and it is a thing I am most grateful for in my life.
After going to my high school reunion this past weekend, it feels obvious that it is beyond random that I had the friends that I had. There was a reason I gravitated towards certain people, and them to me. And, when I see my childhood friends with their spouses and children and hear of their careers and homes, it is clear that each connection bears a sacred contract. Sacred contracts between friends, lovers, children and sacred contracts between people and certain parts of the earth where we are drawn to spend time in.
Whether it is a twenty year friendship, a lifetime relationship with parents, a spouse, a child or even a ten minute interaction with another person, animal or part of nature, is there really any interaction with life that does not hold a sacred contract? Realizing that it all does inspires me to slow down, be more present, be a better listener and communicator and honor every moment I have with every being I encounter.
Whether I have time to sit on a meditation cushion or not during these days of mothering, I aspire to carry the meditation techniques I have learned into my daily activities and cultivate the ability to stay present, notice my surroundings, and be receptive to the abundance that is.
Infinite Gratitude to You,