“Your bodies do not know that you are separate”-Kim Luchau, Cranial Sacral Therapist, Kauai, HI
When Mila, my daughter, was four and a half months old, she was having a lot of problems with constipation. Ryan and I tried every remedy suggested to us. The problem continued so we took Mila to a cranial sacral therapist who specializes in working with babies.
The therapist, Kim Luchau, held Mila in her arms while Ryan and I sat in the room. She touched Mila with extraordinary sensitivity and awareness. Her hands followed Mila’s movements. Her breath and energy linked with Mila’s. She understood Mila had something to express, and she listened. For about twenty minutes Kim connected to Mila in this way. I watched with awe.
Kim then placed Mila in my arms and said to me, “I want to work on you. Please lie down. You can continue to hold Mila.” She placed her hands gently behind my neck and was quiet, still, listening. After a few minutes of silence, she asked me, “how are you?” Tears welled up in my eyes.
“I am tired,” I said. “We just moved to Hawaii when Mila was three months old. We stayed at a friend’s house for one month and just moved into our own home a few days ago. I have been worried about my health. I have mastitis, and it is taking a while to clear. Ryan is busy with work. I have no family here.” I had a hard time holding back the tears.
“It is you that needs to be nurtured,” said Kim. “Mila feels you. Your bodies do not know that you are separate.”
Kim’s words echoed in my mind for weeks: Our bodies do not know that we are separate. How beautiful. In other words, “Our bodies know that we are One.” I have to take better care of myself to create balance and harmony in Mila's life, I thought. It is so easy for mothers and fathers to neglect nurturing themselves when caring for a baby. The experience with Kim was a big reminder of how much our energies affect one another.
The practice of Yoga is designed to open the mind, body and heart to realize this truth directly: “We are One. We are linked. Our energies affect one another.” If we all had a realization of our Oneness with life we would naturally be drawn to loving ourselves and others. We would be free of the pain that comes from harming and disconnecting with life.
Legendary dancer, Gabriel Roth eloquently said, “We all share the wound of fragmentation. And we can all share in the cure of unification.” Yoga and all spiritual practices are designed to bring us back to our essence, which is inseparable from all of life. The Pre-Polynesian Hawaiians had one law, “We are One.” Western scientists agree that all of life is interconnected. The Buddha taught, “Live for the welfare of all beings. There is no separation between you and another.”
Mila was born with this wisdom as I am sure all babies are. Mila does not recognize me as separate from herself. Our bodies are linked. It is innate, raw truth. Then the circle around mother and baby widens and Papa comes in, becoming one with us too. From there, the circle can expand further. More and more beings become one with Mila; grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts, friends, pets, flowers, plants, lakes, sand, earth. How amazing if Mila’s life were to be like this; her heart expanding to unite with more and more life.
The words of one of my teachers, Geshe Michael Roach, echo in my mind: “How big do you want to be? Take the divider between you and other people and put it around you." Include more beings into the circle and see them all as extensions of you. Expand the definition of 'you' to include all beings. This is the state of Yoga; union of mind, body and heart as well as union with all of life.
When the population of people that you love increases a little bit everyday, you know that you are progressing on your path, says one of my other teachers, Winston McCollough. We have practices like yoga to bring us back to the wisdom that we were born with.
I hope that Mila can stay with this wisdom and that her generation experiences the wounds of fragmentation less. In today’s society, as we “grow up” sometimes I feel like we grow more separate from each other rather than united. May our consciousness evolve to change this pattern. Even if distance separates us, may we nurture our connections and live lives that unite us with ever increasing depth.
What can we do in our parenting to share in the cure of unification and avoid the wounds of separation? How can we nurture our children’s innate wisdom of love and connection?
Thank you for joining me.